It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
