we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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