Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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