I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i will never coherently bang her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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