have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
