I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
