im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
