Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
