My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
