So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
