in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
