True but thats because hes a fetus.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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