I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
