That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
