Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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