i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
