what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
