If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
