shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
