Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
