He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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