apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
