I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize