Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
