you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
