i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
