I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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