We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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