how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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