Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
