I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
