Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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