I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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