I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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