Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
