Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
