a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
