How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
