My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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