Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
