I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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