The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
