I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
