Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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