I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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