non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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