he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So vagazzling was a success
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