dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
