Kiss
Puke
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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