Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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