I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
