had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
