Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if only i could text you this smell
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
