Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
