Christians are straight up FREAKS
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
