How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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