Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
and she was petting her beer can
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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