lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
