I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
