addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
