I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I skipped work to stalk him.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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