I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
