I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
