you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
