No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
