id be glad to
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
