No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The best revenge is premature balding
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
