I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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