Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
