at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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