My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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